Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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