rhymes with "ouble enetration"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
This house was built for laser tag.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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