Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
