Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
