she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You pole danced in your parka.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
