she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
