You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
