so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
