Christians are straight up FREAKS
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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