He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
