Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
