yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
