what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
