Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
