what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
