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• (310): View more from California

  kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.

  (1-310): View more from California

  damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show

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• (949): View more from California

  So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"

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• (510): View more from California

  Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me

  (206): View more from Washington

  That is an interesting fear as well as image

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...

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