WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
