Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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