He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
