Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
