Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
50% drunk capacity currently
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
These tits shall not be calmed
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
