Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
