just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
