Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
