I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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