if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You know, be my cock's hype man.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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