similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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