3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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