Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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