i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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