we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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