His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
