I just made out with a guy for $7.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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