if you like me you must not know who I am
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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