So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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