I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
