you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
