I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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