At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
