you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
