I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
