I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
