Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
