I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
