i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
