census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
