Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
