I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
