White coat. Heels.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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