Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
