make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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