I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
